I really hoped that the last question would get several different responses, and it did. Now, what I'd like to know is what they have to do with each other.
The old guy lamented the loss of a way that once was; a way of intereacting with one another that seems, to him at least, to have gone away from our general way of being. Are we really less caring, more crass and cold-hearted now than when the old guy was in his prime? When I was talking to him, I wondered if it was ever there to begin with. I don't know, because I wasn't there. Maybe there is a fond memory that is false. I hear about good deeds, see good deeds and beleive that people generally do desire good.
Does being nice, good and kind mean the same thing to us today that it did yesterday? To "renew" means that something is returning to it's original form or consistency. However, it seems to me that the word is interchangable with "re-invent" or "improve", to some people.
I honestly don't know exactly what I hope to learn from this, but I do think that it's just very difficult to see the good in others and ourselves and really embrace it and act on it, make it a part of our lives.
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4 comments:
I kinda think being nice is still around. The difference is that we're not as connected. The Bridgeport my grandma grew up in was like a small town with extended family living all around and everyone knowing each other. Also, it seems the nasty part of us is more vocal than it used to be. It was always there but now people are walking around with it written on tee shirts. I'm right there with you on the seeing the good in others and acting on it. My actions don't often match up with my thoughts.
I totally missed the boat on the renewal thang. I think of renewal as the feeling you get after a long rest. I think of it as being your best self after a time of trial.
I think we have different ways of expressing ourselves and if one generation doesn't get the next, there can be a disconnect. I show affection to many people by insulting them. If I have never insulted you, I don't care enough to bother.
Also, we are able to stay connected these days without actually going to visit people. I mean, I think of you as my dear friend and I haven't seen your ass in like a year. To an older generation, this may seem odd and impersonal. To me, it is normal.
I try to find the beauty in something every day. I am a very emotional person and somethimes it comes at inopportune moments. I have started welling up when seeing a particularly simple but kind act on the train.
I also try very hard to do something good for my neighborhood and those in it at least once a day. I shovel snow for old ladies. I hold the door open for people and smile and say, "Hello." I help ladies load their groceries. Some folks are suspicious of kindness from strangers and rightly so. I keep doing it cuz it makes me feel good.
I think we all could use a bit more help in the manners department but then I am kind of old fashioned in that regard. I still get cross with hooligan kids on the street (which got a knife pulled on me the other day) and try to set them straight but without reinforcement at home, I am wasting my time.
That's my take. I get mad and do shit I shouldn't just like everybody else but so long as I am also trying to make positive contributions, I don't get down on myself too much about it.
Michael said:
"I try to find the beauty in something every day. I am a very emotional person and somethimes it comes at inopportune moments. I have started welling up when seeing a particularly simple but kind act on the train.
I also try very hard to do something good for my neighborhood and those in it at least once a day."
See, I think he gets it. Life can still be hard...but how can you feel dismal when you are helping someone else...how can you feel like your life is meaningless when you are helping someone with something they need?
I could grow in this department...but when I do the things our friend describes above...I feel part of what he is describing
I think you get it too, Ed. How can I feel lowly when I am helping? When someone thanks you for what you have done, you are not above them but you are acknowledged as someone who has value. That's why I do nice things for others more when I feel I'd like to have someone do something nice for me. I don't believe in karma in a spiritual way but the "What comes around goes around" model is pretty accurate.
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